It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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