I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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