Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
