i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
