My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
