Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
