found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
