Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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