so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
