Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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