Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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