I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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