some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just found a bag of teeth...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
