I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
