so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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