the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
whose ass print is on the piano?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
