Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
time to smoke my breakfast
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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