Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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