Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
