I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
