Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
