Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
