I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
