The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
