stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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