I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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