i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
