Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
