If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
