I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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