is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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