So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
