Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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