dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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