Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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