You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
