I hope my margaritas pass through security.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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