i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
