Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
