it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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