are you still at the devil's house?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
