dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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