He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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