Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we're making bets on your personal life
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
