its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
