Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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