walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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