He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
