Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
