I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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